Love is blind, says the popular proverb — or at least sexual attraction is.
In other words, we don’t get to choose the people that we are sexually drawn to. We call this magnetism “chemistry”, and because of it we attract certain people rather than others into our beds (or sofas, or kitchen tables).
Chemistry is a process that we seem to think acts of its own accord, without our intervention; just like a chemical reaction.
But what if we could have a say in our sexual attraction, instead of being ruled by it?
To a certain extent, popular wisdom has a point. Indeed, there are some powerful forces at play in the game of sexual attraction and repulsion. These energies act at a level that is far below (or beyond) our rational mind. Moved by forces that we don’t fully understand, we tend to think that they’re “out there”; external to us.
The Romans had a beautiful image to represent the blind power of erotic desire: Cupid. This little winged brat spends his time shooting his arrows of desire and aversion around, causing all of us to feel erotic attraction or repulsion depending on what hit us.
And a pretty chaotic job he does, being blindfolded.
Yet, attraction isn’t all that blind, but rather it follows certain patterns. If we spend some time and energy discovering and studying these patterns, then with a little effort we can change them — even if just a bit.