Broken agreements hurt. They hurt even more when we are in love.
When we discover that our lovers have broken an important agreement, we generally feel betrayed, and, in some cases, ready to condemn and punish.
But a relationship is not a court case—or at least, it should never be.
Agreements are an important tool of every intimate relationship. They allow us to define our boundaries and respect those of our lovers, avoid codependency and create a solid foundation of mutual respect.
Agreements are just a tool.
If they become the main axis of a relationship, they can end up transforming it into something similar to a business contract or, in the worst cases, in a court case. One or both partners may become obsessed with spotting any infringements to the agreements, and administering the punishment associated with violating the boundaries.
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Image: zbellink at Flickr