Condoms and Sexuality in Tantra Yoga

One of the questions I most often hear about Tantric sexuality has to do with contraception. “When practicing Tantric sex, should people use condoms?” – this is not a trivial issue, and there doesn’t seem to be a general agreement about the answer, so here are my thoughts about it.

First, some preliminary considerations. In our times, there is understandable social pressure towards encouraging safer sex protocols. This is self-explanatory, since sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancies are still major concerns for anyone who is sexually active. Of all the tools that can help us maintaing safer sex, the condom is still the most widespread, and rightly so. Contraceptive pills and diaphragms do not protect agains STDs, and they have contraindications for the woman who is using them. Condoms, on the other hand, are absolutely harmless, and they do a good job of protecting us against both STDs and unwanted pregnancies, so I will focus my attention on them.

With that said, I think that an evaluation of condoms in Tantric sex should not be based only on medical and ethical considerations. In Tantra Yoga, sex is mainly a way of mobilizing and channeling powerful energies in order to achieve spiritual goals. If we argued that anyone practicing Tantra should use condoms because of health concerns, we would be skipping the question of whether a “latex barrier” allows for the interchange of energies that the participants are looking for. I think that this is the real core of the issue, so that the question is: “While lovemaking, is it possible to awaken sexual energy, channel it and use it for personal and spiritual evolution, even if using a condom?”

In my own experience in Tantric environments, I’ve heard different opinions on the subject, but most of them fall in two opposed categories:

• the Politically Correct Stance (“You shall use condoms no matter what, because that’s simply the right thing to do, Tantra or not!”)
• the Carefree Stance (“Hey, making love without a condom allows for a better circulation of energy, and it’s more fun, so let’s just not use it!”).

The Carefree Stance finds some extra support in a couple of risky assumptions: that men and women in Yogic and Tantric communities are generally healthy and free of STDs, and that men who practice Tantra should be able to control their ejaculation thus avoiding unwanted pregnancies. But it also assumes that condoms partially or completely defeat the purpose of Tantric sexuality – is that really true?

I’ve found that it’s perfectly possible to have Tantric sex while using a condom – at least one made of natural latex one (I have no experience with synthetic condoms). The channeling of the sexual energy, as well as the circulation of energy between the partners, does not seem to be blocked at all. This is actually not very surprising: sure enough, a latex barrier stops the interchange of fluids and microorganisms, but why should it block prana – vital and sexual energy? After all, many of us practice Yoga on rubber or even PVC mats – and we can still feel the circulation of energy between us and the Earth.

Another possibility is that latex somehow reduces, without blocking it, the free flow of energy interchange during sexual interaction. If this were the case, then it would simply take longer to build up the same amount of sexual energy than it takes during unprotected sex – and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Especially for beginners, and particularly for men, using a condom  could even help control the sexual energy, by slowing down the build up process. This can give the male practitioner more time to react when he is approaching the point of no return, when the ejaculation reflex is triggered and there is no way to stop it. For the female practitioner, using a condom can help get rid of annoying thoughts and worries about STDs or pregnancy, and enter a state of relaxation and surrender that is so important for Tantric lovemaking.

So, does this mean that we should always use condoms? This is a very personal decision. As far as I am concerned, while I think that it’s perfectly okay to engage in Tantric lovemaking while using a natural latex barrier, I also value pleasure as an important part of life, and I do feel that sex without a condom feels better. Consequently, I allow myself some flexibility with the use of condoms – obviously having first discussed about it with the other person involved. Should unprotected sex be practiced only by committed, monogamous couples? I don’t see why. The conditions under which it is okay to have unprotected sex are a matter of each own’s judgement and responsibility over their own body. Personally, I have broken the Politically Correct stance many times in my life, and I don’t regret it, even though safer sex is the “default policy” – the rule, that makes exceptions possible.

To sum up, according to my own experience and to those I’ve come in contact with, using a condom during Tantric lovemaking will not prevent the participants from reaching higher states of consciousness by awakening, channeling and interchanging their respective sexual energies. It is possible that the presence of a latex barrier has some slowing-down effect on the interchange, but this does not hamper the process of Tantric lovemaking and in some cases it can actually be of help. Unprotected sex, however, does undoubtedly feel better and I personally have found that a compromise between a safer sex policy and the freedom to make some exceptions works best for me.

photo credit: 08-may-14 via photopin (license)