Tantra, the millenary holistic spiritual tradition from India and Tibet, considers sexuality as one of the avenues to achieve higher states of consciousness, universal love, and deep connection with our partner and the whole universe.
Because of the relevance given to sexuality, Tantra has developed techniques to allow sexual energy to run more freely and abundantly in our bodies.
Here is a selection of some of the Tantric “tricks” to supercharge our sex lives. These techniques are “unconventional” just insofar as the conventional way of making love has veered away from the limitless potential for ecstasy, connection and elevation that all of us can experience in sexuality. As with anything Tantric, we are our own laboratory and all it takes is experimenting with these techniques and observing the results.
This one may sound deceptively simple, but don’t let yourself be fooled. If we carefully observe our breathing pattern during sex, we may notice that, in certain moments, we hold the breath or breathe shallowly.
Holding the breath during sex stops the circulation of sexual energy and prevents relaxation. It is one of the main causes of premature ejaculation, anorgasmia, and a host of other sexual dysfunctions. We tend to stop breathing during sex because of our inability to cope with intense stimulation…and intense pleasure! Yes, stopping the breathing is a “defence mechanism against pleasure.”
Breathing shallowly, on the other hand, can produce a certain excitation and a superficial arousal of the sexual energy. It can be fun in certain situations, but a shallow breath does not allow us to experience the deeper and more fulfilling orgasmic states.
While making love, we can try to breathe deeply, slowly, and with awareness. If we notice that our partner is holding their breath, we can ask him/her to breathe deeply as well. Breathing deeply produces a powerful shift in the energy circulation: pleasure starts running abundantly through our body, and at the same time we relax.
To make breathing even juicer, we can try sounding our exhalations. We can sigh, moan, cry, whisper, or chant! Using the breath as our ally, our sexuality becomes a powerful energetic practice.
2. Using the daytime.
In other words: making love when we are rested and full of energy rather than when we are tired and sleepy can help a lot. For most people, this translates into reclaiming some daytime for their sexual enjoyment.
We often relegate sexuality to the last time spot in a long, busy day. It is no wonder then, that we often struggle in finding the depth and connection that sexuality may offer. It’s pretty obvious if you think about it—would you do anything important and valuable when you are exhausted? So, put that alarm clock one hour before and go to bet one hour earlier, moving the time for erotic play to the morning when you are well rested.