One evening of August, I was walking on a beach on the tropical island of Ko Pha Ngan, Thailand. It was dark already, and just before coming to the beach I had given a lecture in the Yoga school where I was working as a teacher. A friend of mine was leaving on the following day, and a few people were supposed to be gathering around a bonfire for a nice little goodbye party. I was planning to chill with them for a short while, and then go back home and put an end to a very satisfying, intense and tiring day. However, things were meant to go in a different way that night – I didn’t know it yet, but I was going to meet a powerful entity…
Walking in the dark towards the fire, which I could already see in the distance, my mind was busy with all kinds of thoughts. I was thinking about the lecture I had just given, the things that went well and those that could be improved, the questions I had received, and a few other apparently unrelated topics. At some point, almost by chance, I raised my eyes and saw the night sky above me – it was full of shining stars, silent and immense, pulsating ever so slightly with the tremendous force of existence.
Suddenly I realized how ridiculous I was, walking with my head bent and a hunched back, completely oblivious to the magnificence above me, lost in a whirlwind of words and concepts. I stopped and started to laugh wholeheartedly. And then… the spell was broken. The chattering inside my head subsided; the majestic silence of the night sky, the soothing sound of the waves, the enticing calls of one thousand little animals in the jungle, finally found the way to my perception. I felt like I had been shaken out of an hypnotic dream, and I was finally awake – present for once, attentive and aware of the beauty that surrounded me.
In this state of mind I continued my walk, and by the time I got to the fireplace, I discovered that the fire was still burning, the embers were glowing red, but there was no one in sight. That meant that I didn’t need to engage in conversations and switch my rational mind on again! After all, that was a pleasant surprise. I walked back some meters, and sat on the beach in the darkness, enjoying those rare, blissful moments of presence and awareness.
After looking at the stars for some time, for some reason I turned my head to the right. The view was charming: the shoreline went on an on and, in the distance, there was a promontory covered by black vegetation and dotted with sparse lights. I felt completely filled with beauty; the moment was perfect, and I wouldn’t have added anything to it. But there was a surprise in store for me. All of a sudden, right behind the hill, a speckle of light ascended into the night sky, leaving a blazing trail… and then it burst in a gigantic flower of pure colors and geometric shapes. Immediately after, another, and then yet another flower exploded in the sky, each one with a diverse and unique shape, all of them lasting just for a few moments and then withering in the blackness.
It was almost too much, and I started giggling like a child, while tears of joy slowly crossed my cheeks; then, swiftly as it had begun, the exhibition stopped. Suddenly, I started noticing a peculiar energy all around me: it was gentle, but lively and playful. It seemed to have its own intelligence and, somehow, personality. It was, above anything else, distinctly feminine. Immediately I realized that this energy was coming to me from the ground I was sitting on, but also from the whole land around me – in other words, this entity was the island itself. And then, we started making love.
What do I exactly mean when I say that we made love? Certainly this didn’t involve me pulling down my pants and laying on the sand in some funny way. Everything happened on an energetic level. I started becoming aware of some pleasant vibrations in my body, particularly but not only around my pelvis and genitals. At the same time, I could feel how I was surrounded by the “energy of the island” – which was completely different from my own energy. If my vibrations were hot, hers were cool; if mine were angular and pointed, hers were round and wavy. Our energy fields started playing with each other in a dance of pushes and pulls, just like the bodies of two lovers.
I was so enthralled by this new experience that, without even noticing it, I began moving my own energy faster and faster. Suddenly I felt a response: I was going too quick! My “partner” was asking me to slow down, and to maintain my attention open and spacious, instead of rushing towards a goal. Then I changed my rhythm, but I became so absorbed in trying to understand what had just happened, that for a while I forgot completely to be alert and enjoy the dance. Once again the island called me back to the present moment, gently but firmly. What a lousy lover was I! First rushing things up, then getting lost in my own train of thoughts. Hadn’t I learned anything in so many years of Tantric practice and studies? Apparently, that night I was being taken to a completely new level and with humbleness and gratitude, I admitted that I had to learn it all again.
As beautiful as this experience was, it didn’t last very long. After a short while I felt that it had been enough for that day: I needed to go home and rest. I felt a bit guilty, just like a lover that says goodbye after a short and possibly unfulfilling encounter. The feminine energy immediately read my thoughts and, without using any words, replied: “What do you mean you’re going away now, you silly sweet baby? Don’t you realize that when you go to bed, you will be just resting your head on a different part of my body? So don’t be ridiculous and go, I will be cuddling you to sleep and we have a lot more time to spend together.” I immediately understood what she meant: as long as I was on this island, no matter where or with whom I was – this entity would always be there.
Thus, I left the beach with the warm afterglow of someone who comes from a new lover’s bed. I felt I had been blessed by the possibility of experiencing yet another manifestation of the Feminine, with its glorious diversity of shapes. And I had made a new friend! A very big one indeed, and challenging in many aspects., but also one that had shown me so much grace and compassion.
This felt like the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
photo credit: Simon_sees via photopin cc